Recollection
by seriesfanatic
Summary: A Song Fic About Rory that has to do with Jess. Kind of depressing but I am planning on writing a sequel that will make it happy. So, yeah.
1. Chapter 1

Recollection

**Note to the Reader: I do not own any of the characters or anything pertaining to Gilmore Girls.**

**On another hand I do own the song that makes this a Song Fic. Therefore do not steal it because it is copywrited by me. **

**Thanks Series Fanatic -S. D. Peters-**

Rory is packing up all of the stuff that she looked at as so much. Paris was there and was willing to help but she didn't need to because it all fit in one box. As Rory is packing she remembers her first day here, how good it felt. But now as she found that all the pieces and parts of her life that she had now could fit into a brown box, she realized that everything she has is nothing at all. She remembers the day that Jess knocked on her dorm door and begged her to go with him. But that day she felt on top of the world and he was just the world that she was looking down on. She had Yale that day, now she didn't. She was left with a box and knowledge. Not the knowledge of Journalism like she should have but the knowledge that in the box in front of her held everything but one thing that couldn't fit. But he was gone and what she could have had was gone.

_You left me here on my own, But yet it seems your still around, Lurking in the shadows watching me, Making sure that I'm gonna be OK, I think I will. _

Rory walked out to the car carrying her life. She didn't even have Stars Hollow anymore. All she had was that box and it didn't seem like enough. She remembered that Logan was still her boyfriend but she was still thinking about Jess. He was the one missing piece. He was that one jigsaw puzzle piece that was never found so you never finished the puzzle. Then five years later you would find that piece but you still wouldn't finish the puzzle because it didn't seem important.

The day that Jess came back was Rory's chance to finish the puzzle but she didn't know that he was the missing piece. She thought that Yale was, Yale was all that mattered. Now she knew what really mattered.

_You're all that real to me, The rest of this worlds just make believe, You're the only thing I let my self believe, is really real, But I only see you in my dreams, When I close my eyes to escape reality, You know its true, I hope you feel this way too, I hope one day, You come back to me._

She started the car and the drive to her grandparents. She drove slower then she should of but she didn't care because nothing seemed to matter at all. Nothing seemed to be moving at a normal speed. Everything was slower then it should be, the numbers on the clock in the dash slowly changed as if to make the horrible day last longer then it really needed to be. As if this was her punishment for letting him slip away without even saying good-bye.

_You're all that real to me, The rest of this world is just make believe, You're the only thing I let my self believe, is really real, _

When she reached the house her grandmother was waiting in the doorway. When Rory walked up to her carrying her life she looked surprised.

"That's all?" Rory looked at her but she seemed to look through her. Emily Gilmore looked at her granddaughter and could see nothing in her eyes. They were empty, deprived of all feeling. All feeling except for pain.

"No. But it's all I have left." Rory replied with no tone in her voice. It was like she was dead. Rory felt dead like there was nothing but pain. She wanted it to end but it wouldn't. Emily moved aside and let her granddaughter walk into the house. A maid offered to take the box out of Rory's arms but she didn't want to give her world away.

She walked to the bedroom and laid on the bed. She had her life lying right next to her and Emily walked in.

"Rory, are you OK?" Rory nodded, but it was such a slight nod it almost wasn't there. "Do you need anything?"

"No, I'm just tired." Rory said but in her head she said, 'Yes grandma, I need my old life back. I need a life again.' She rolled over on her side and faced her life. She heard Emily walk out the door and close it behind her. Rory sat up and opened the box. Set on top was a small photo album that was only capable of holding fifteen pictures. Rory opened it and the first pic was of her and Paris when they got drunk for the first time. Then on the second page was the wedding pic of Dean to his wife. She couldn't remember her name. It was a worthless marriage anyway, she knew it wouldn't last. She bet that Dean understood this as well. The third pic was back in stars hollow when she was with Dean. Then she turned the page and there was nothing there. Rory turned to the back of the album and saw the most painful picture of all. The one that Lane had taken of her and Jess on the bridge. Then the tears started.

She put the album down and looked out the window. It was a sunny April day, around the time of 4:30. Then suddenly dark clouds loomed over head and snow began to fall. Rory blinked and rubbed her eyes. She didn't believe what she was seeing. She ran out of the room and to her grandma.

"Do you see the snow, too?"

"Yes." Emily was confused. Rory felt something in her hand. She looked down and saw the picture of her and Jess there. She didn't remember taking it out of the album but apparently she had. She walked back to the study and walked to the window. She placed the picture in a frame on the window sill and stood there for a while.

_This whole world's fake, Everything you see is just make believe, It's made by he, who rules this world, Were just pawns in his game, But we can run against the wind, Make the world see us as we leave, Just promise me that the next time you see me, You'll say good-bye._

She watched as the snow piled up to at least and inch and then suddenly stop and then the sun came out again. None of this made sense.

_You're all that real to me, The rest of this worlds just make believe, You're the only thing I let my self believe, is really real, You're all that's real, You're real to me. You're real to me. You'll always be real to me you see, You're all that I believe, So believe me when I tell you, You can go out of this world, And I'll always love and care for you, Cause, you're real to me._

She picked up the picture and looked at in intensely as if to re-live the memory. She laid down on the bed with the picture and fell asleep. The memory became her dream, and for the first time, in a long time, she was smiling.


	2. Chapter 2

**Note to the Reader: I do not own any of the characters or anything pertaining to Gilmore Girls.**

**On another had I do own the song that makes this a Song Fic. Therefore do not steal it because it is copywrited by me. **

**Thanks Series Fanatic -S. D. Peters-**

**Chapter Two**

_I can't forget your memory,_

Rory stood there once again in the hallway. She wasn't supposed to be there, she wasn't a student at the moment but she had to be there. Everyday for the past week since she had left Yale. She was waiting for Jess to show up once again. She remembers the day that Jess came here the first and last time. When she told him that she wouldn't go with him he grabbed her shoulder and once again tried to convince her to go with him. Telling her all the things that she would benefit from going with him. She couldn't remember what they were, that was the one thing she couldn't remember.

_I look at my shoulder where your hand used to be, I pretend that you're still there, I only wish that you were still here._

Behind her she heard the door open. She spun around and saw Paris walk out.

"Are you OK?" Rory nodded but Paris didn't seem convinced. "Come in here."

"No, I don't need to go in." Paris looked concerned but let it go and just continued to walk to class as if Rory wasn't standing there.

_I can't forget you, And all that you've done, And I won't forget, All the things you taught, You gave me things, That could never be bought._

Rory watched as Paris walked away, that seemed to be what she did all the time, just watch people as they walk away. She never seemed to be the one to walk away. She felt the burning behind her eyes start but she didn't understand why. She seemed to be crying a lot lately. She realized that she was still facing the dorm's door as she heard footsteps come up behind her.

"Rory?" It was a guys voice. She couldn't identify exactly who's it was though because all she heard was Jess' voice. She spun around and she was happy thinking that it was Jess. But her smile faded as she realized that it was Logan. She still hadn't broke up with him. "I thought you were taking a break."

"I am." Rory said trying even harder not to cry because she didn't want to make it seem like she was venerable, not around him.

"Well I don't have classes for a while, wanna talk?"

"Logan, you never want to 'talk'". Logan's eyes widened. "Logan, you are a jerk and I am sick of putting up with it. You aren't one for commitment." He opened his mouth as if to say something to defend himself but couldn't find any words. "You can't even deny it." She crossed her arms across her chest. "Why aren't you leaving? That was me breaking up with you." He closed his eyes and shook his head. When he opened them she was still staring at him. "Leave." She said simply. Logan straightened his back looked at her in the same way.

"I don't have to." She shrugged and turned away from him and looked to the entry doors and continued waiting.

_It's almost as if you never left, It's almost as if I feel your presence, I turn to leave the place where we said good-bye, And I see you standing there. I can't forget you, And all that you've done, And I won't forget, All the things you taught, You gave me things, That could never be bought._

Her mouth dropped as she saw Jess walking into Yale. She wanted to run to him but she couldn't move. Out of the corner of her eye she saw Logan to the same way that Rory was facing. Jess was standing right in front of them and he looked disappointed. Rory closed her mouth but continued to stare into Jess' eyes. Logan wanted to make him leave because he saw how Rory was looking at him. He slipped his hand into hers and he saw Jess look at the movement. Rory didn't notice Logan's hand in her own or that Jess was no longer looking at her. She lifted her hand to touch Jess' face as Logan's hand slipped out of hers.

_This can't be real, I told myself that you would never be here, There you are, standing here, I see you, I feel you, I hear you._

"I've missed you." Jess said quietly now ignoring Logan.

"I've missed you, too." Rory said even quieter as if she couldn't breathe. But as she spoke she realized that maybe she couldn't. She took in a deep breath and felt a lot of weight come off her shoulder. Jess put his hand on her shoulder just like he did so long ago. Rory looked at his hand and felt safe, for once. No matter how many times Logan had held her she never felt safe in his arms. Jess took his free hand to make Rory face him. Rory fell into him and wrapped her arms around him and let the tears fall from her eyes.

_I know you're real, I know you're here, I won't let you slip away again._

Jess supported her as she was loosing more and more of her strength. She wanted him to feel needed so she let herself be weak in his arms, let him hold her, let herself become part of him. As far as she was concerned this is all she needed.

"You are the only thing that wouldn't fit."

"What?" Rory stopped the tears and regained her strength. She looked him in the eyes and realized how that must of sounded to him.

"My entire life fit in that box when I moved out of the dorm. Everything but you." Jess held her tight and told her he loved her. "Are you going to leave again?" She felt him shake his head as he answered,

"No, I'm not leaving without you this time." His hand, as if of its own accord, moved her until their eyes shared an intense look, and both felt a passion and strength that was alien to them. His lips met hers. Rory's arms slid up to hook behind his neck. Jess' other hand found her waist and wrapped around before tightening gently. Rory just tilted her head back. For a moment time froze into a perfect moment, and even after she slowly pulled away a golden haze remained. As she stared at him through half closed eyes and thick dark lashes, their gazes locked once again, and warmth flooded through Rory's body. Jess took a tentative step back to see Rory better.

"I'm coming with you this time." Rory said blandly.

"I don't really know where I'm going this time." Rory didn't even falter over her words as she repeated,

"I'm coming with you this time." Jess smiled as Rory reached and took his hand. They walked out of Yale to Jess' truck. It didn't matter where they were going, just as long as they went there together.

**I suppose that this is the end unless people review and give me ideas as to where to go from here.**


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